Direct from a Wordsmith ....

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

To err is human, to moo bovine.

A good pun is its own reword.

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative

My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean morality comes from morons?

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Is a big book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Adolescence - when a lad forsakes his bosom buddy for a bosomed buddy.

Banning the bra was a big flop.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

She criticized my apartment, so I knocked her flat.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.