Men Are just Happier creatures....

I came across this the other day and thought i Should share it with who-ever stumbles across this blog ....

Men Are Just Happier creatures...

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays
put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be
pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear
NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world
is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom
because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of
which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add
character. Greying hair adds attraction. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux
rental~$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to
them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New
shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about
tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all
your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still
be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs
of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in
public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same
hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades . You only have to shave your
face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly
usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color
for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You
can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice
concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25
relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Classic chat up line

Two guys sitting in the office chatting, when this girl passes them going to the toilet.
Guy says "I think she's nice"
Guys mate "well nip over and give her the patter"
Guy "the patter?"
Guys mate "aye the patter"
Guy "I don't know any patter I've never found it easy to talk to girls"
Guys Mate "Fu*k's sake its easy, all you have to say is "hello" and
she will say "hello" back.
Then say "it's a nice day isn't it"
Then she will say "Yes it is"
Then you say "but not half as nice as you!"
Then she will say "Oh thank you"
Then the patter will just flow"
Guys Mate "look there she coming back out, go and give it a go"
So nervously off he goes re-running the patter in his head.
He walks up and says "Hello"
She says "Hello"
He says "It's a nice day isn't it?"
She says "Yes it is"
He says "but not half as nice as you"
She says "Oh thank you"
A Few seconds of uneasy silence............
Then he says............
"Been for a sh*te then?"

Coincidence....

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a
glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just
ordered a glass of champagne, too!"
"What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me. I'm
celebrating."
"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!" says the
woman.
"What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked,
"What are you celebrating?"
"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my
gynaecologist told me I'm pregnant!"
"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all
My hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized
eggs."
"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
"I switched cocks," he replied.
She smiled and said, "What a coincidence"