Monday, October 24, 2005

Bloggers book ?

Someone wanted a beginning to a story and to Prove Im not an Ignoramus .... I scribbled the following - Now its up to someone else to take the story over and write the next chapter....
Let me know who has it so i can keep tabs on it pls .....It could be fun.

"So this is who all the fuss is about" thought Dave as he sidled up to the crowded table in the Smokey bar just off Main, on a miserable Friday evening. She stood near the head of the table in the top corner surrounded by a throng of male would be admirers. She was definitely a looker he decided... Tall, good figure and a head of curly hair that drew attention to her clear eyes and wide smile. His mates hadn't even noticed his entrance - so wrapped up were they in whatever it was she was saying...

He turned to the bar tender and asked for a beer. When it eventually arrived he took a long pull at it still keeping his eyes on the woman in the corner that seemed to hold his mates as a captive audience. Every few minutes there was an approving roar of laughter that indicated that they were still mesmerized by her Cobra - like enchantment.

This was a rarity in this neck of the woods. These were the same guys that sat around the same table every Friday and told the same type of jokes and anecdotes week in and week out.... It wasn't often that a newcomer was admitted to their ranks and even more seldom was it that a newcomer could commandeer so much attention. It wasn't that she was stunningly beautiful or provocatively dressed, it seemed to be that she was just really confident and possessed a natural inner strength that drew people to her. This was the second Friday evening she had spent amongst the guys in the corner. She had just breezed in the previous Friday evening and sort of taken hold of them without so much as a single protestation.

Having not been in town the previous week , I had heard all about her from the group during the week. It was Jessy this .... and Jessy that.... "Who the hell is Jessy ? " I kept asking myself . It was time to find out he thought pushing himself away from the counter ....

Friday, October 07, 2005

When Irish eyes are smiling ....

For any of you that have ever been to ireland you will REALLY appreciate the following........and for those that havent..... you wouldnt believe how close to the truth this is !! :-)

Mick appeared on the Irish version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire"
towards the end of the programme had already won €500,000.

"You've done very well so far," said the show's presenter, "but for €1

million you've only got one lifeline left - phone a friend.

Everything is riding on this question...will you have a go?"
"Ahhhh ....Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"
"OK. The question is, which of the following birds does NOT build its
own nest?

(a) Robin, (b) Sparrow, (c) cuckoo, or (d) thrush."

"To be sure......I haven't got a clue," said Mick, "so I'll use my last lifeline and
my friend Paddy back home in Ballygoon."

Mick called up his mate, told him the circumstances and repeated the
question to him.

"Fookin hell, Mick!" cried Paddy. "Dat's simple... it's a cuckoo."
"Are you sure, Paddy?" asked Mick. "I'm fookin sure."
Mick hung up the phone and told the TV presenter, "I'll go with da
as my answer."
"Is that your final answer?" asked the host.

"To be sure ...Dat it is, Sir."

There was a long, long pause, then the presenter screamed, "Cuckoo is
correct answer! Mick, you've won €1 million!"

The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a

"Tell me, Paddy? How in God's name did you know it was the Cuckoo that
doesn't build its own nest? I mean you know fook-all about birds."

"Ah bejaaysus!" laughed Paddy. "Everybody knows a fookin' Cuckoo lives
a clock!" :-)

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Where have all the sales people gone ?

How often do you go out to buy something and end up returning home without it ? Now I hear all the ladies going..."I ALWAYS find SOMETHING to buy ! " Thats not what I'm getting at.
Did you ever want a specific Item and end up not getting it cos you didnt have someone to push you that last millimeter ? (The millimeter between thinking "I REALLY need this" and the thought of " Can I REALLY afford this ! ")
Back home, I remember getting almost mugged as you entered a store by some young salesperson brimming with enthusiasm who would bend over backwards to help convince you that you absolutely MUST buy the item right now before their are none left in the entire world !!
Anyway, here on the Emerald Isle it seems to be different...........
You have to almost PROVE to the sales person that you have an absolute need of the item and then you almost have to offer them twice what its worth before they will get off their fat ass and serve you !!
I spent almost 2 years trying to buy a Motorbike from a dealer here.... I went in to them nearly every week and looked at the same bike and asked the twat what the price was every time...
He never once got off his ass from behind the counter or tried to engage me in conversation around biking or anything... The bike sat on his floor for the entire time and it was an expensive one ! I was always well dressed in Suit and Tie, so he could see I wasnt just another tyre-kicker.

I went on to buy the same type of Bike privately for cash. I had to get Helmets and jackets etc from another Bike shop too - which was like getting blood from a stone !

Once I had all the stuff I needed , I had to get insurance for the Bike..... Well , I only got that today after almost 3 months of begging!! The bike is a really powerful one, so it falls in a category of "Only for Experts" here in Ireland. (Seems dumb to me !)

I had to do a 3 day advanced Biking course (which I got squashed into 3 hours and passed) , and then they Quoted me insurance cover for €4000 per year (Over the phone) !!

I thought...... " F**** this for a game of skittles!!" So I marched down to the Insurance office, in my work power suit and thumped the table until an embarrassed young lady came shyly out from behind a partition like a timid mouse.... Then I proceeded to tell her exactly what I thought. I produced the results of the Advanced riders test and demanded to see the person in Charge !!
She bolted and returned with another ladywho was closer to me in age (older than 19). To cut a long story short , I walked away with a smile on my face and a sense of accomplishment !

The price I ended up paying ....? €825 per year ! (from €4000! )

I am a sales person in a way myself and just have to wonder how things ever find their way off the shelves here............