Stealing never felt so good...

So there I was, working away this morning when I heard (Quite Loudly) the sound of a cash register …. Shortly followed by a wailing siren….. A colleague over the partition went puce in colour and quickly fiddled with his laptop. I stood up and declared “ Youre a drug dealer and youre playing Dope wars !!”. the rest of the office looked at me as if I had gone nuts !!
My outburst was a kind of knee jerk reaction – cos once you have played Dope wars ( a simple - but hugely addictive pc game freely downloadable) you will never forget the sounds associated with the intense frustration of building up a sackload of cash by dealing all these different drugs in all the dodgiest spots around the world only to be chased by the cops and bitten by dogs and getting mugged on the underground and ending up having to borrow cash from a loan shark with a weird name to pay another loan shark with an even weirder name before his goons visit you with a chainsaw …..or throw you out the 3rd story window of your apartment !!
A most enjoyable way of spending a few minutes while waiting to do something else. The big problem arises when you find yourself still battling the odds at 3am , with dry eyes and aching shoulder muscles ….. and the thing you were going to do now has to be done another day…..
This is especially true with my latest game “Call of Duty” I spend my life keeping the world safe from the onslaught of the Krauts only to have the map change and a wave of pesky Russians trying to oust me from my comfortable homeland 
Online gaming ……. Time thief, stolen moments that feel great !!

Are we who we are ?

Are we what we are now ?

That may seem like a strange/stupid question, But is it really ?
I have been wrestling with this question most of my adult life.
Ever since I can remember I have always privately thought of
myself as someone that I am not in my daily life.
I was brought up in a reasonably structured yet controlled lifeslyle.
My folks always strived to give us the best chance at happy and
productive life, and even though they split when we were quite young
and my mother departed from this life prematurely, my formative years
were pretty much moulded by the instincts and teachings passed on to me
by them at an early age.
I lost my brother to the current crimewave that is sweeping the African continent
and life hasn't always been a bed of roses, but I feel that I have done reasonably
well so far.
I have had a failed marriage, but have two fantastic kids that are very
well adjusted and a pleasure to be around and I always get glowing reports from
people they interact with so I count myself very blessed even though I miss them terribly now as they stay with their mom. I am now remarried to a
fantastic person who after 10 years remains my best and most trustworthy friend.

I am not poor by any means and have been successful at almost everything I have
ever turned my hand to. I am doing very well at my current job and have enjoyed the
benefits and accolades bestowed on me by the company I work for.
Many people I know and some family members have the opinion that I always seem to
"fall with my bum in the butter" referring to the fact (I suppose) that I always seem to
end up on my feet on success street.

I often wonder if they stop to think that this might not always be the case. I struggled
with the loss of my mother and shortly afterwards lost my step dad whom I was very fond of.
They both passed on within a year of each other and it left a huge hole in my life at the time.
Luckily I have a sister with whom I have a very strong bond. She sort of took on the role of
surrogate mother even though she is the youngest. She still is probably the closest person
I have on earth next to my wife. I did more than my allotment of military service in a mix of roles
always closest to the heat. I saw and did things I still don't repeat today to anyone (my wife and sister included).
I was given a nick name (among many) of "Chameleon" by some of the men I served with due to my
unconscious ability to blend in to a number of roles and scenarios without detection.
But it seems now to be in a life that is a closed book or a chapter that I am finished reading.
So both my early years and my military years form part of a life that are filed away.

Yet deep down, in the recesses of my mind I find myself wrestling with the label of Chameleon.....
I have always thought of myself as a thinly disguised top tier predator. Always able, if the need arose,
to take what I want whenever I want it with reasonable impunity. Maybe that helps me in my daily
life and improves my chances of success greatly to the extent that it looks like I always land on
my feet and on "Easy Street" . I must admit I very seldom use this trait as it scares me to wield this
internal force. It just seems the easy/lazy way to move foreword and yes, I am a lazy person by nature.
Yet to the rest of the world I'm the happy go lucky guy that always
manages to fit in and say the right thing at the right time, who very seldom blows up at anything and is
always on an even keel, who always rises to the top....
Internally I seethe at the circumstances that have colluded to force me into this predicament. I am living
as a person that I know I'm not, yet I am beginning to come to terms with it and am creating a safety
zone that I know I will eventually succumb to.
I have no delusions though that if the need arises , I would be able to drag out the predator again and shake off
the camouflage - I am also under no illusion that while the mindset is there, the middle aged body might
not be up to its once finely tuned abilities :-)

So, in closing I return to my question..... are we who we are now, or are we what our current circumstances dictate ?

The Twins...

What is it about the twins....?
OK, so they are sometimes identical, sometimes not so identical.
The sure are nice though !! I was speaking to a woman and she referred to her boobs as "The Twins". Now, I am a self confessed boob-man. I dont really know what it is that makes them so attractive, but nearly every man I know has a thing for them.
Is it because we dont really have a set to contend with, or is it a deep seated Freudian thing ? There is a quip that goes....... How do you make a pound of fat look good ? Stick a nipple on it !!
There are good twins and bad ones I suppose..... the ones that point North seem to be better than those facing South I reckon. But even the perkier ones eventually head South for hibernation in the Autumn years. In my reckoning they are great playthings. Good for warming a cold set of ears on cold winter nights (or a lucky pair of hands!):-)
And why is it women have a thing for Bums ? Everyone has one of those ..... I figure they like 'em cos its a great place to grab when the twins are covered by a hairy chest ? I dunno, just seems a bit nuts. Talking of those.... they dont seem to be very popular with the ladies ( I can kinda understand that - not as pleasing to the eyes as a nice set of legs or swanlike neck or ..... you guessed it - a happy set of Twins !)
And yet we arent really allowed to have a good appreciating look at them without getting an earful (of usually fiesty words). It really is most tempting though, and when they get dressed up in a good Sheepdog Bra (rounds them up and points them in the right direction)they are almost impossible to ignore !! Damn it really is a quandry.......
All in all though ..... I find I am always more interested in a woman with a good Carriage (ie she holds herself up straight with her chin up) and can look you in the eye. It normally involves keeping her shoulders back which ..... yes you guessed it - gives the twins a good look at the world !!
It is then that we get pinged for Talking to their Chest ! It sure is a quandry and I think it might just be another one of their many weapons they have at their disposal in their ever-present quest for appreciation.
So....we are damned when we do - and we are damned when we dont !!
What is it with the twins ?

First time for everything.....

So, this is it........ After hearing nothing but Blog this and blog that for the past four months from my other half, i thought I could give it a bash to prove im not so thick afterall..... Now being the kinda person I am, there was no way I was going to ask her how the damn things work (especially after the slagging i constantly give her about it). So here i am (a complete techno pleb) giving it a stab. I must say , I dont really know what I am expecting to happen , but as they say.... "Nothing ventured nothing gained !"
I know my spelling usually sux and my grammar can probably do with some work but what the hell....
I am having a terribly hard time today ...., ya see, my mate who is an Aussie ( Hi Skippy) has gone home for a 2 week holiday from Ireland where we are both Foreigners...... He says its to go to a wedding but i know better.... The Bugger is hiding from the terrible sledging he deserves.
Not too long ago I was the constant butt of many a joke related to the dismal state of South African Rugby........ How crap we were . Were we ever any good or was the rest of the world just duped into thinking we knew how to play? Etc Etc......
So when we won the Tri-Nations series last year the debate REALLY began to flow (with many stinging rebukes from me). Then we lost to Ireland and England and anyone else we happened apon which didnt help my cause much. Back to the drawing board it was for me and I took all the flack they threw at me with a bowed head and a heavy Heart mumbling things like " Feck off ya eejit!" or "We will be back to kick your smelly butts shortly" You get the drift....

Well, now is my moment of Glory and the twat has gapped it back home to hide in Australia till the storm has blown over !! Three times we beat them ....IN A ROW !!! Home and Away !!
If we can only do the All Blacks this weekend They wont hear the end of me......